NICK: Dad! Look!
ME: What is it?
NICK: A bug, dad!
ME: Ew. Gross.
NICK: What would happen if I pulled down my pants and pooped on that bug?
ME: I don’t…I don’t know, Nick.
NICK: I KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN! I WOULD MAKE IT DEAD! IT WOULD BE DEAD FROM THE POOP ON IT! I WOULD KILL THAT BUG WITH MY POOP! AND THEN I WOULD EAT IT!
ME: Stop, stop, STOP! Seriously, Nick! That’s enough! It’s too gross, okay? That is TOO GROSS! Oh my God! Little boys are so gross!
NICK: Okay. Dad?
NICK: Am I ever gonna have a baby bro –