CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK – TIME OUT

nick panera

 

Nick is my three year old son. Allison is my wife. That’s really all you need to know. Recently, Nick is into role-playing – he pretends to be me or Allison. This happened the other night after dinner.

Nick: Daddy?

Me: Yes, Nick.

Nick: Let’s play I’m the daddy and you in time out.

Me: Okay.

Nick: You go in time out right now!

Me: Me? What did I do?

Nick: You did a wrong thing!

Me: But what did I do? Be specific.

Nick: You did a wrong thing and have to go to time out!

Me: But I don’t want to go to time out!

Nick: Yes, you have to! Sit in that chair and don’t come out until time out is over! And don’t play with your toys or anything, either.

Me: But I have to help mommy clean the kitchen.

Nick: No. You’re in time out. I gonna clean.

Me: Okay, cool.

Nick: Don’t talk in time out.

Al: Nick, let daddy out of time out.

Nick: I’m not Nick. I’m daddy. That’s Nick.

Al: Daddy needs to help clean the kitchen.

Me: I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m in time out.

Nick: Don’t talk in time out!

Al: But then who’s going to help clean?

Nick: I will.

Me: Awesome.

Nick: Don’t talk! AND DON’T LOOK AT YOUR PHONE!

Me: Sorry.

Al: Nick, seriously. Let daddy out of time out so he can help.

Me: Sorry, Al. I’m in time out.

Al: Seriously?

Me: I did something wrong, apparently. I can’t help you. I’m in time out.

Al: Oh my God, I hate you so bad right now.

Nick: Don’t say “hate!”

Al: Sorry.

Nick: PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY!

Me: Sorry.

Al: So, this game is going well.

Nick: You stay in time out, Nick! I’m gonna clean!

Me: Look, he’s helping you clean. We’re teaching him to help.

Al: We’re not teaching him to help! He’s pretending he’s you! We’re teaching him that daddy cleans up his messes!

Me: Whatever. I’m in time out.

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