CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT HISTORY

083

At the Princeton University Art Museum…

1.

ME: Look, bud. You know how you wanted to know what happened in different places during the old days?

NICK: Uh-huh.

ME: Well, look at this stuff. It’s thousands of years old. People made this thousands of years ago.

NICK: Are they dead?

ME: Well… yeah.

ALLISON: See that statue?

NICK: Is he dead?

ALLISON: He’s actually not a real person. That’s just a statue. But the man who made it is dead. This is from thousands of years ago.

ME: Look at these small carvings of horses.

NICK: Are they dead?

ALLISON: They’re actually not real horses. But if they were, then yes they would be dead.

ME: Buddy! Look! A mummy!

NICK: Is he dead?

ALLISON: Yes.

NICK: Why?

ALLISON: Well, he died. And they put him in that box which is called a sarcophagus.

NICK: Who did?

ALLISON: Egyptians.

NICK: Are they dead?

ME: Let’s see what’s upstairs!

2.

NICK: What’s that?

ME: It’s a statue.

NICK: What’s he doing?

ME: It’s a she. She has a bow and arrow.

NICK: Why?

ALLISON: That’s Diana the Huntress.

NICK: What’s THAT?

ME: I told you. It’s a statue. Of Diana.

NICK: No…what’s THAT?

ME: *sigh* That’s her butt.

NICK: YOU SAID BUTT!

ALLISON: Um… there’s a tour here…

ME: He asked! What was I supposed to say?

NICK: Why she not wearing pants?

ALLISON: She’s a goddess. Goddesses don’t have to wear pants.

NICK: Another one!

ME: That’s another statue.

NICK: SHE’S NOT WEARING PANTS EITHER! I SEE HER BUTT!

ME: Keep it down, buddy.

NICK: SHE HAS A PENIS.

ME: That’s a man. HE has a penis.

NICK: OH! *HE* HAS A PENIS! Daddy?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Is he dead?

 

 

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