At the Princeton University Art Museum…
1.
ME: Look, bud. You know how you wanted to know what happened in different places during the old days?
NICK: Uh-huh.
ME: Well, look at this stuff. It’s thousands of years old. People made this thousands of years ago.
NICK: Are they dead?
ME: Well… yeah.
ALLISON: See that statue?
NICK: Is he dead?
ALLISON: He’s actually not a real person. That’s just a statue. But the man who made it is dead. This is from thousands of years ago.
ME: Look at these small carvings of horses.
NICK: Are they dead?
ALLISON: They’re actually not real horses. But if they were, then yes they would be dead.
ME: Buddy! Look! A mummy!
NICK: Is he dead?
ALLISON: Yes.
NICK: Why?
ALLISON: Well, he died. And they put him in that box which is called a sarcophagus.
NICK: Who did?
ALLISON: Egyptians.
NICK: Are they dead?
ME: Let’s see what’s upstairs!
2.
NICK: What’s that?
ME: It’s a statue.
NICK: What’s he doing?
ME: It’s a she. She has a bow and arrow.
NICK: Why?
ALLISON: That’s Diana the Huntress.
NICK: What’s THAT?
ME: I told you. It’s a statue. Of Diana.
NICK: No…what’s THAT?
ME: *sigh* That’s her butt.
NICK: YOU SAID BUTT!
ALLISON: Um… there’s a tour here…
ME: He asked! What was I supposed to say?
NICK: Why she not wearing pants?
ALLISON: She’s a goddess. Goddesses don’t have to wear pants.
NICK: Another one!
ME: That’s another statue.
NICK: SHE’S NOT WEARING PANTS EITHER! I SEE HER BUTT!
ME: Keep it down, buddy.
NICK: SHE HAS A PENIS.
ME: That’s a man. HE has a penis.
NICK: OH! *HE* HAS A PENIS! Daddy?
ME: Yes.
NICK: Is he dead?
David Lee White 