Me: Whoa. What are you watching?
Me: How did you find the Discovery channel documentary on cannons?
Nick: I got it myself.
Me: Wait. You just clicked around on youtube until you found it?
Me: While I was getting my coffee.
Me: Well, here’s the thing. Cannons are like, you know, big guns. And we don’t like guns. You’re not allowed to touch a gun. And I’m not allowed to touch a gun. Mommy’s not allowed to touch a gun. Only very special people who know how to use a gun are allowed to touch a gun. So if you ever see a gun, just don’t touch it. Just don’t even… Don’t touch any guns. Ever. They’re very, very, very dangerous and you shouldn’t touch them. Even if you think they’re safe, don’t touch them. If you don’t know if it’s a real gun or a toy gun, just don’t even go near it because you just don’t know. Don’t touch guns, or cannons or anything. Just don’t do it. Don’t touch them. Ever. Understand?
Me: Nick, look at me. Do you understand?
Nick: I’M GONNA SHOOT YOU WITH A REAL CANNON!
Me: Okay…just…let me start over.