NICK: Daddy, read me the dinosaur book WHILE I IN THE BATHTUB!
ME: Okay. So…whoa…this is a picture of a T-rex fighting another dinosaur. Bleah.
NICK: What he doing?
ME: Well…um…he’s biting the other dinosaur on the neck.
ME: Well… they’re fighting and he’s trying to…to… kill the other dinosaur.
NICK: Daddy? You’re not supposed to say bad words in public.
ME: What bad word did I say?
NICK: Kill. It’s a bad word.
ME: That’s true. It is a bad word.
NICK: And you can’t say it in public. BUT YOU CAN SAY IT IN THE BATHROOM!
NICK: If a dinosaur came in this house, I would fight him.
ME: You would?
ME: How would you fight him?
NICK: I would get a great big vacuum and I would FSSSSSHHHHH! suck him up in it!
ME: That’s a good idea. Then what would you do?
NICK: Then Jessie would fight him.
ME: Our dog wouldn’t be much of a match for a dinosaur. What would you do then?
NICK: (Strokes chin. Thinks a bit.) I’d call grampa. He can fix EVERYTHING!