CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT DINOSAURS

NICK: Daddy, read me the dinosaur book WHILE I IN THE BATHTUB!

ME: Okay. So…whoa…this is a picture of a T-rex fighting another dinosaur. Bleah.

NICK: What he doing?

ME: Well…um…he’s biting the other dinosaur on the neck.

NICK: Why?

ME: Well… they’re fighting and he’s trying to…to… kill the other dinosaur.

NICK: Kill?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Daddy? You’re not supposed to say bad words in public.

ME: What bad word did I say?

NICK: Kill. It’s a bad word.

ME: That’s true. It is a bad word.

NICK: And you can’t say it in public. BUT YOU CAN SAY IT IN THE BATHROOM!

ME: Okay.

NICK: Daddy?

ME: Yes.

NICK: If a dinosaur came in this house, I would fight him.

ME: You would?

NICK: Yes.

ME: How would you fight him?

NICK: I would get a great big vacuum and I would FSSSSSHHHHH! suck him up in it!

ME: That’s a good idea. Then what would you do?

NICK: Then Jessie would fight him.

ME: Our dog wouldn’t be much of a match for a dinosaur. What would you do then?

NICK: (Strokes chin. Thinks a bit.) I’d call grampa. He can fix EVERYTHING!