NICK: How long do I have to stay there?
ALLISON: Well, it’s a little longer than you used to go to pre-school.
NICK: ALL DAY LONG???
ME: No, no, no. Just a little longer.
ALLISON: It’s a camp for two weeks. It’s to get you used to going to Kindergarten.
ME: You’ll find out what Kindergarten is going to be like.
NICK: What if I get homesick?
ALLISON: It’s like that book we read, remember? I’ll put a kiss in the palm of your hand and then when you feel homesick, just press your palm to your face. Then you’ll know that I’m with you and you won’t get homesick.
NICK: MOM!!!! THAT’S NOT EVEN A REAL THING!!!
ME: Nick…
NICK: IT’S JUST A PRETEND THING!!!!
ALLISON: Just remember that you don’t have to feel homesick because at the end of the day, you’ll always come home.
NICK: Is anybody I know gonna be there? Is Dean gonna be there?
ME: Well…we don’t know. Probably not.
NICK: Okay. Okay. Dad?
ME: Yes.
NICK: I’m not gonna take my plane in the car.
ME: Uh…okay. You don’t want to take a toy in the car with you on the way to school anymore?
NICK: No. Not anymore.
ALLISON: You can’t take it into the school, but you can still take it in the car with you.
NICK: No. I’m a grown up.
ALLISON: Okay. Well…look, I got you a new lunchbox and it has your lunch, but do you remember where your snack is?
NICK: In the plastic bag in the lunch box.
ME: Good. Now, you remember that there’s no breakfast at school.
NICK; I have to wait for my snack.
ALLISON: And that’s not until 11:00.
NICK: Okay.
ALLISON: I guess we should go.
NICK: Are you coming, dad?
ME: Uh…do you want me to?
NICK: Yes.
ME: Sure. We can both take you.
NICK: WAIT! I CHANGED MY MIND! I WANT TO TAKE MY PLANE!
TEN MINUTES LATER
ALLISON: We just stand over here until your teacher comes out.
NICK: I don’t know any body.
LITTLE BOY: My birthday is tomorrow!
NICK: MY BIRTHDAY IS IN FIVE WEEKS AND IT’S AUGUST THIRD!
TEACHER: Okay, everyone in Ms. Lewis’ room, follow me!
ALLISON: Okay, Nick. Go on. Follow Ms. Lewis.
ME: See you later, buddy.
ALLISON: Have a good day.
NICK: Bye.
ALLISON: Wait! I’ve still got your lunch! Wait! Here!
ME: Okay.
ALLISON: There he goes. Into the classroom.
ME: He okay?
ALLISON: He didn’t even turn around.
ME: I guess we can go?
ALLISON: Yeah.
ME: Want to go home and have a nervous breakdown?
ALLISON: Sure.
David Lee White 