CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT HOW MUCH I SHOULD TELL HIM

So this is the 100th “Conversations with Nick.”

It is also the last.

While I may post things here and there in the future, this post will mark the official end. There are several reasons for this. The main reason is that Nick has graduated from pre-school and turns five in August. I seem to remember that age five is when people start finding their own identity. It feels like Nick should now be more responsible for telling his story than I am. Quite frankly, I may have passed that point long ago. He is more self-conscious now, better at expressing himself and is beginning to understand his place in the world, which makes him more intellectually and socially adept than me.

Also, I’ve always kind of had the theory that Nick would somehow let me know when this part of the story was over. We had this conversation about a week ago. It seemed to sum everything up and it reminded me of where this whole thing started in the first place.

NICK: Dad?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Every day we’re dying bit by bit.

ME: What the…where did you hear that?

NICK: Every day. We’re dying. Bit by bit.

ME: Seriously, where did you hear that?

NICK: On TV.

ME: What show?

NICK: I don’t know.

ME: We really have to pay more attention to what you watch.

NICK: What’s heaven?

ME: Well…you know…we’ve talked about this. Some people think heaven is where you go when you die.

NICK: Where you’re tortured?

ME: What? No…where are you hearing this?

NICK: You know what’s in heaven? A miracle zombie!

ME: I’m sorry. A what??

NICK: A miracle zombie!

ME: WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS?

NICK: FROM TV I TOLD YOU! NOBODY WAS AROUND AND THE TV WAS ON AND IT JUST CAME UP!

ME: Oh my God.

NICK: Dad, did your grandma die?

ME: Yes.

NICK: How?

ME: Well, she got old.

NICK: What did she look like?

ME: When she was old? Well, she had grey hair. And wrinkles.

NICK: Did you see her when she was dead?

ME: Yeah. We went to the funeral and I saw her.

NICK: What’s a funeral?

ME: That’s when you go to say goodbye to someone that died.

NICK: EXCEPT THEY CAN’T HEAR YOU, DUH!

ME: Funerals are really for us, though. When you’re said that someone has died, you want to see them and say goodbye.

NICK: Where did you see her?

ME: In her coffin.

NICK: Was it glass?

ME: No, it was wood and the top was open so I saw her that way. That’s what a funeral is.

NICK: So it’s like going to a fair.

ME: Not really.

NICK: Know what, dad? Billy and Billy 2 died.

ME: They did?

NICK: Yep. So you don’t have to worry about them anymore, dad, because they’re dead. They had a funeral.

ME: Oh. Did you go to the funeral?

NICK: No because they were just TRICKING ME THEY DIDN’T REALLY DIE!

ME: I knew it was probably too good to be true.

NICK: When your grandma died, did they take out her brain?

ME: What? No. What do you mean?

NICK: Like in my book about mummies.

ME: Oh! No, no, no. We don’t take out brains anymore.

NICK: Why?

ME: I don’t know. I guess ’cause it’s gross.

NICK: What did your grandma talk like?

ME: She was really funny. I have some video of her sometime if you want to see it.

NICK: She’s dead?

ME: No. She’s alive in the video.

NICK: What funny thing did she say?

ME: Let me think… when I was little she would say “David, you want to hear a dirty story?” and I’d say “Yes.” And then she’d say “A LITTLE BOY FELL IN THE MUD!”

NICK: HAHAHAHAHAHA! She was so funny, dad!

ME: She was a nice woman.

NICK: Did mommy go to her funeral?

ME: She did, actually.

NICK: Tell me more about heaven.

ME: Well…I don’t know. Like I’ve said before, no one really knows about heaven.

NICK: But I wanna know.

ME: Yeah. But there are some things we just can’t really know.

NICK: I want you to tell me, dad.

ME: I just did.

NICK: Yeah, but I want you to tell me everything. I want to know everything you know. I want you to tell me everything.