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http://www.newjerseystage.com/articles/getarticle.php?ID=6249

Contact:
Dan Bauer
(609) 658-2826
danbauerpr@gmail.com
PANTHER HOLLOW
WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY DAVID LEE WHITE
TO PREMIERE AT NEW YORK’S PRESTIGIOUS UNITED SOLO FESTIVAL
United Solo Festival, the world’s largest solo theatre festival, will present David Lee White’s Panther Hollow on Wednesday, November 11th, at 3:30 in the Studio Theatre on Theatre Row ( 410 W. 42nd Street, NYC). Tickets may be purchased on line at http://unitedsolo.org/us/pantherhollow-2015; or calling 800-447-7400.

Part stand-up comedy confessional, part examination of the cultural taboo of mental illness, Panther Hollow details White’s struggle with clinical depression while living in a century-old house under a bridge in the eerie Panther Hollow neighborhood in Pittsburgh – a neighborhood where committing suicide has been a favorite pastime for decades.

“Back in 1995, I had just finished grad school and was still living in this run down house in the middle of Pittsburgh. One morning, I found a dead body hanging from a tree down the street from my house. I spent the next year cruising therapists, popping meds and trying to piece my broken life back together. When I turned forty-five, I stumbled across my twenty-year old journal and starting piecing the story back together. This show is the result.”

White began working on the show in Passage Theatre’s Play Lab and began reading it out loud on college campuses throughout New Jersey and Pennsylvania. The piece attracted the attention of director John Augustine and the pair entered the piece in the United Solo Festival.

Award-winning solo theatre artist Lauren Weedman call the piece, “Unique, compelling and honest. I laughed forty-four times and cried twice, which is the perfect solo show ratio. Panther Hollow is a personal story of imperfect humanity, perfectly told.”

Nancy Giles of CBS Sunday Morning, raves, “David White is an engaging storyteller who’s expressive and fun to watch.”

About David Lee White

David Lee White is a New Jersey based playwright and educator that has worked with Passage Theatre, McCarter Theatre, Dreamcatcher Rep, PlayPenn, Rider University and Drexel. He was recently commissioned by the New Jersey Performing Arts Center and Passage Theatre to create the play Sanism, which will premiere in 2017. His play Blood: A Comedy was been produced at Passage Theatre (2009) and Dreamcatcher Rep (2012). His play Slippery As Sin also received its world premiere at Passage in 2011. The one-act play White Baby was originally produced at Passage Theatre, then at Emerging Artists Theatre in New York. His newest play Real True Crime received a reading in the Hive Exposed series in New York in March of 2015. David Lee White is the Associate Artistic Director and Resident Playwright at Passage Theatre in Trenton. He also runs the Passage Play Lab which has aided in the development of plays by New Jersey-based playwrights. He is currently working on the play The Festival Quartet and the musical Live Stream with singer/songwriter Sarah Donner and director/co-creator Adam Immerwahr.
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Panther Hollow is now on United Solo’s “Top Selling Shows” list! If you haven’t snagged a ticket, better do it quick! The show is Wed, November 11th at 3:30 PM http://unitedsolo.org/us/pantherhollow-2015/

Because ordering over the phone is like being in a Nichols and May sketch…

RECORDING: Welcome to Telecharge. For tickets to “Kinky Boots” press “1.” For all other shows, please hold. Telecharge is proud partners with Discover. You can take advantage of your Discover card to gain points by simply –

OPERATOR: Hello, how can I help you?

ME: Yeah, I need to buy fifteen tickets to a show in the United Solo Festival but they’re all under different names. So do I –

OPERATOR: One moment please.

(On hold)

MUSIC: “THE TEN DOLLAR FOUNDING FATHER WITHOUT A FATHER GOES A LOT FARTHER BY WORKING A LOT HARDER…”

OPERATOR: Yes, hello?

ME: Hi.

OPERATOR: Okay, that’s what’s known as a “special ticket order.”

ME: Okay.

OPERATOR: What day, please?

ME: November 11th, but first…can I just buy them all together and then assign names or do I have to do it one name at a time?

OPERATOR: One name at a time, please.

ME: Okay.

OPERATOR: For what date?

ME: November 11th.

OPERATOR: What time?

ME: 3:30 PM.

OPERATOR: That’s PANTHER HOLLOW?

ME: Yes.

OPERATOR: At the Studio Theatre on Theatre Row.

ME: Yes.

OPERATOR: How many tickets?

ME: One.

OPERATOR: Name?

ME: Dan Bauer. B-A-U-E-R.

OPERATOR: That’s B as in “Boy,” A as in “Aardvark,” U as in “Uncle” E, R?

ME: Yes.

OPERATOR: That’s one ticket under the name Dan Bauer for the show Panther Hollow at the United Solo Festival in the Studio Theatre on Theatre Row on November 11th at 3:30 PM. Is that correct?

ME: Yes.

OPERATOR: There are no refunds or exchanges. The tickets are $19.25 plus $2:25 for processing and $2:50 for handling, okay?

ME: Sure.

OPERATOR: Discover is the official card of Telecharge. Would you like to earn points on your Discover card with today’s purchase?

ME: No.

OPERATOR: What card will you be using for today’s purchase?

ME: I have a Mastercard.

OPERATOR: May I have the number please?

ME: Sure. xxxx – xxx.-xxxxxxx.

OPERATOR: And the expiration date?

ME: 4/20.

OPERATOR: And the three digit security code on the back of the card, please.

ME: 482.

OPERATOR: That’s a Mastercard number xxxx-xxx-xxxxxxx, expiration date 4/20 with the three digit security code 482.

ME: Correct.

OPERATOR: Name on the card?

ME: David Lee White

OPERATOR: Billing address?

ME: 29 Tartara Court. T-A-R-T-A-R-A Court.

OPERATOR: That’s T as in “Tom,” A as in “Aardvark,” R as in “Roger,” T as in “Tom again” A as in “Aardvark,” R as in “Roger,” A as in “Aardvark.”

ME: Yes.

Operator: That’s one ticket under the name Dan Bauer for Panther Hollow in the Studio Theatre on Theatre Row on November 11th at 3:30.

ME: Yep.

OPERATOR: Please be aware that each ticket holder must show two forms of I.D. with one of those being a photo I.D. Tickets may be picked up no earlier than the day of the performance and no sooner than fifteen minutes before curtain. Children under the age of four are not permitted in the theatre. May I have an email address to send the confirmation to?

ME: Sure. david@passagetheatre.org.

OPERATOR: David@passagetheatre.org?

ME: Yes.

OPERATOR: Would you like to receive special offers and information from Telecharge via the email address david@passagetheatre.org?

ME: No.

OPERATOR: Yes sir. Your confirmation number is ready. Do you have a pen?

ME: I do.

OPERATOR: Your confirmation number is 473-78-55586.

ME: Great. Will that be emailed to me as well?

OPERATOR: Yes, your confirmation number will be emailed to you at david@passagetheatre.org

ME: Great.

OPERATOR: Telecharge also has deals with restaurants in the area like Sardis, the Four Seasons, American Kitchen and The Russian Tea Room. Would you like to make a reservation?

ME: No.

OPERATOR: Can you hold one moment?

ME: Absolutely.

MUSIC: “WITH YOUR RIIING OF KEEEEEEYS, YOUR RIIIIING OF KEEEEEEYS!”

OPERATOR: Hello?

ME: Yes.

OPERATOR: What’s the next name?

ME: Is that it for the first one?

OPERATOR: Yes.

ME: Awesome. Only fourteen more to go.

If you want to avoid that and order tickets lickety-split, go here – http://unitedsolo.org/us/pantherhollow-2015/

But honestly, if you want to do it the fun way, call Telecharge at 212.239.6200. And remember, you want Panther Hollow on November 11th at 3:30 PM. Use your discover points. Make a dinner reservation.

Read it here!

I’ve spent the past few nights staying up and watching class game shows from the 50s through the 70s on the BUZZR channel. I’ve watched MATCH GAME, TATTLE TALES, WHAT’S MY LINE, TO TELL THE TRUTH…They’re pretty awesome. But, you know…sexist.  This is basically every conversation between the male game show host and every female contestant:

HOST: She’s a librarian with a degree in psychology…Here she is from Edwardsville, Illinois, Miss Mariann Shackleford!
(applause)
HOST: Welcome, Miss Shackleford. May I call you Mariann?
MARIANN: Sure.
HOST: That’s just swell. You’re awfully attractive, Mariann, I must say.
MARIANN: Thank you.
HOST: Yessir very attractive. Are you married?
MARIANN: Yes. My husband is in the audience.
HOST: Well gosh he’s a very lucky man man to be be married to such a fine, fine attractive woman with such lovely features.
MARIANN: Thank you.
HOST: How did get so lovely. Do you moisturize?
MARIANN: Oh…um… yes. And I wear make-up, I guess.
HOST: Make-up. Well that’s just swell. How did such a lovely young woman with such pleasant facial features become a librarian?
MARIANN: Oh, I just…needed a job, I guess.
HOST: And what does your husband do?
MARIANN: He’s a tenured professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
HOST: That’s a prestigious institution.
MARIANN: Yes, I suppose it is.
HOST: Well he’s lucky that he has such a purely beautiful woman like you to come home to. Attractive, likable and pleasant to look at!
MARIANN: Thank you.
HOST: Stand over here, Mariann while I introduce your challenger.
MARIANN: All right.
HOST: And now here’s the lovely Mariann’s challenger. He’s a greeting card writer from Buffalo, NY, Mr. Ken Campmire!
(applause)
HOST: Hello, Mr. Campmire.
KEN: Hello.
HOST: Here’s you’re opponent Mariann. Isn’t she attractive?
KEN: Oh, yes. Very lovely.
MARIANN: Thank you.
HOST: She moisturizes.
KEN: She’s very nice looking.
HOST: So you write greeting cards?
KEN: Yes, yes I do.
HOST: And what kind of greeting card would you write to Mariann here?
KEN: Oh, well…I’d probably say…”You are so lovely, Mariann. And you have such a beautiful way about you. I’d like to get to know you better. Lovely, pretty, pleasant, appealing and attractive, Mariann.”
HOST: Well that’s just swell.
MARIANN: Thank you.
HOST: Well here’s your celebrity challenger, Mr. Steve Allen!
(applause)
HOST: How are you, Mr. Allen? How’s your lovely wife the fabulous Jayne Meadows?
STEVE: She’s just as attractive and pleasant as ever.
HOST: Well that’s just as swell as can be. As you know, Steve Allen has been sequestered and blindfolded. He’s going to ask you some questions about your profession and which ever one of you can fool him the longest wins. Are we ready to play?
KEN: Sure.
MARIANN: Thank you.
HOST: Go ahead, Steve. We’ve got Ken and Mariann. Who would you like to start with?
STEVE: I’ll start with Mariann. Mariann?
MARIANN: Yes?
STEVE: You sound very attractive.
MARIANN: Thank you.
STEVE: You really have a very attractive voice. Quite pleasant, quite distinguished.
KEN: You should see her.
HOST: She’s very pretty.
MARIANN: Thank you, all of you.
STEVE: Mariann, are you a model or film actress of some sort?
MARIANN: Oh, no.
STEVE: Do you teach grade school, Mariann?
MARIANN: No.
HOST: But she would be a very good teacher with her attractive personal appearance. Those would be very lucky students indeed. Wouldn’t you say, Ken?
KEN: Sure. She’d make a very pretty grade school teacher.
STEVE: Yes, I can imagine her speaking and saying things grade teachers would say in that very pleasant, peaceful and very attractive voice.
HOST: Would you like to ask her another question, Steve?
STEVE: Mariann, are you a librarian?
MARIAN: Yes, I am.
HOST: Ooooooooh! Nice job Steve! Ken, you’re the winner.
MARIAN: He didn’t even ask me any questions.
HOST: The game works out that way sometimes. Steve, would you like to take off your blindfold and say hello to the very lovely Mariann?
STEVE: Well yes I would. (takes off blindfold) You’re just as lovely as I imagined. Beautiful and very pleasant.
MARIANN: Thank you.
HOST: Well, Mariann, I’m sorry you lost. But we have lovely toaster for you. A lovely toaster for a lovely lady!
MARIANN: Thank you. I like toast.
HOST: And Ken, you just won yourself $1000.
KEN: But I didn’t do anything.
HOST: Well, sometimes a lucky guy can win without doing a thing. And we’ll be back right after this message.

You can find it here –

http://indietheaternow.com/Play/slippery-as-sin

BLOOD: A COMEDY is now available on Indie Theatre Now! Thanks to Martin and Rochelle Denton for giving my favorite play a home!

https://www.indietheaternow.com/Play/blood-a-comedy

UPDATE – Indie Theater Now is sadly defunct! If you’re interested in reading BLOOD: A COMEDY, contact me at davidleewhiteplaywright@gmail.com, or go to my NPX page at https://newplayexchange.org/users/966/david-lee-white

http://www.gofundme.com/pantherhollow

ALLISON: Hey, dad. Welcome home!

ME: Hey, does Nick want to go out to dinner or something? I just…I know the first day was probably tough so I thought…

ALLISON: Nick! Daddy’s home!

NICK: DAD! DAD! DAD!

ALLISON: Tell daddy how your first day at Kindergarten camp went.

NICK: I’M A ROCK STAR!

ME: Oh, wow! Okay…tell me everything. I want to know everything you did, right from the beginning.

ALLISON: So, you went into the classroom with your teacher, and then what happened?

NICK: She told us the rules.

ME: Good. Good! And what were the rules?

NICK: Respect.

ME: Respect is important. Respect what?

NICK: Respect…the penis.

ME: I’m sorry, what?

NICK: RESPECT THE PENIS, DAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ME: Oh, okay. She didn’t actually say that, then.

ALLISON: No.

ME: So seriously, Nick. What was the rule? Respect what?

NICK: RESPECT THE BUTT! THE BUTT AND THE PENIS AND THE BUTT AND THE PENIS AND THE EYEBALL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ME: Okay, so he’s over the wall.

ALLISON: He had a really good day.

ME: What did she say to respect, buddy?

ALLISON: Why would you ask him a third time?

NICK: BUTT AND PENIS AND BUTT AND PENIS…

ME: Okay, okay… that’s enough. So then you went over the rules. What happened after that?

NICK: Then we had a fire drill.

ME: Oh, that’s interesting. Tell me about the fire drill.

NICK: THEY LIT A MATCH AND THE FIRE DEPARTMENT CAME AND THE TRUCK WENT “WEE-NORE, WEE-NORE, WEE-NORE!” AND THE TEACHER SAID “OH NO THERE’S A FIRE!” AND THEN THEY COULDN’T PUT OUT THE FIRE AND THEY LOCKED THE DOOR AND WE WERE ALL TRAPPED IN THE FIRE AND WE COULDN’T GET OUT AND IT ALL BURNED DOWN AND WE DIED!

ME: Yes, but what happened after that?

NICK: Then we had a snack.

ME: Good. You had a snack. Later you ate lunch. How was that?

NICK: One boy…you know what dad? He had fake food.

ME: Fake food?

NICK: It wasn’t real. But he ate it! He ate the fake food! And he had a fake knife and it cut his neck off!

ME: We’re never going to really find out how today went, are we?

ALLISON: Okay, Nick tell dad who you saw at recess.

NICK: Ellen.

ME: Ellen from T-ball? That’s cool.

NICK: AND SHE GAVE ME A HUG AND KISSED ME!

ME: She kissed you?

NICK: YEAH!

ALLISON: So that happened.

NICK: Can I go play?

ME: Yeah, go ahead.

ALLISON: Dinner is in five minutes.

ME: So let me get this straight…

ALLISON: Yes?

ME: On his very first day…

ALLISON: Yeah?

ME: He got a kiss from a girl. On his first day…in a public school…he kissed a girl.

ALLISON: Yep.

ME: You know how many times I kissed a girl in school between kindergarten and twelfth grade?

ALLISON: None?

ME: That is correct. And he kissed a girl his first day of Kindergarten.

ALLISON: Yep.

ME: I have no idea how the world is supposed to work anymore.