Nick: Dad?
Me: Yes.
Nick: Look up in the road up ahead.
Me: What do you see?
Nick: Honky the Bear.
Me: I’m sorry… you see who?
Nick: Honky the Bear. HE’S RIGHT UP AHEAD!
Me: Who in God’s name is Honky the Bear?
Nick: Well… he’s a man. But he dressed like a bear. And he pours junk on your head.
Me: He pours junk on your head?
Nick: Yes. And then Honky the Bear puts fire on your head.
Me: He puts junk and fire both on your head?
Nick: No. There are two Honky the Bears.
Me: And they’re both called Honky the Bear.
Nick: Yes.
Me: And they’re not really bears, but men in bear suits.
Nick: Yes. Bad guys.
Me: And one puts junk on your head and one puts fire on your head.
Nick: Uh-huh.
Me: Why do they do that?
Nick: They’re bad guys. They like junk and fire.
Me: What do you do if you see both Honky the Bears?
Nick: Call Smokey the Bear.
Me: Ah. What does he do?
Nick: Puts out the fire. Throws the junk in the garbage.
Me: Right. So which Honky the Bear did you see up ahead in the road?
Nick: Both of them! RUN THEM OVER DADDY! CRUSH THEM WITH THE VAN! MAKE THEM GET DEAD!
Me: That seems excessive to me. Can’t we just rehabilitate them?
Nick: NO! RUN THEM OVER! THAT’S AN ORDER!
Me: BUMP! BUMPBUMPBUMP! Oh… Oops. I think I just ran over something. What was that?
Nick: Honky the Bear. He’s dead, dead, dead, daddy.
Me: And he’s a man dressed like a bear and he has a friend with the same name that also dresses like a bear and they put junk and fire on your head.
Allison: Okay, do you have that straight now? Do you have everything you need to put it on your blog?
Me: I think so, yes.
David Lee White 