1.
Nick: Mommy?
Allison: Yes, Nick?
Nick: Cars don’t have armpits.
Allison: That is correct.
2.
ME: Alright, buddy. It’s bedtime. G’night.
NICK: Daddy? Tell me about mining.
ME: Mining?
NICK: Tell it.
ME: You want me to tell you about mining? Like…when people work in a mine?
NICK: Uh-huh.
ME: I know nothing about mining. It’s late, buddy.
NICK: Uh-huh. Tell it.
ME: I can’t… I have no idea what to tell you about mining.
NICK: Tell about how they explode a hole to make the mine and then there’s a crater and the rain fills the crater with water and it makes a lake.
ME: Nicholas, it’s way past your bedtime.
NICK: Talk about mining.
ME: Okay. They explode a hole and that makes the mine. And there’s a crater or something and when it rains I guess it turns into a lake.
NICK: Why?
ME: I don’t know. What you just told me is literally the only thing I know about mining. I know absolutely nothing more about mining. Everything I know about mining, I learned ten seconds ago.
NICK: Tell about how they do sand mining but then they sell all the sand so the mine closes down.
ME: Nick, honest to God… I have to go to bed.
NICK: Tell it.
ME: They sold all the sand and then they closed the mine. Now go to sleep.
NICK: Good night.
ME: Night, buddy.
NICK: Why did they sell all the sand?
David Lee White 