1.
NICK: Daddy?
ME: Yes.
NICK: One time? A long time ago? There was alllllll volcanoes.
ME: All volcanoes?
NICK: Uh-huh. They were everywhere. But then the lava buried all the volcanoes but the big volcanoes. So now, there are just big volcanoes.
2.
NICK: Daddy?
ME: Yes.
NICK: Tell about dinosaurs.
ME: What do you want to know?
NICK: Tell about how they became distinct.
ME: Extinct.
NICK: Extinct.
ME: Well, once upon a time… there were dinosaurs… and they did dinosaur things… they’d eat and roar and whatnot…then…they became extinct.
NICK: There was a storm, daddy. And the thunder came and the thunder kill ALL the dinosaurs.
ME: All at once?
NICK: Uh-huh. And they KNOW this happened, daddy. They KNOW it. The scientists KNOW it. They KNOW this is what happened. They KNOW it!
3.
NICK: Daddy?
ME: Yes.
NICK: Tell about mummies.
ME: Okay. Well, mummies are when dead people get wrapped in bandages and then they get buried in a tomb. In Egypt.
NICK: (long pause) You have to tell me the whole thing, daddy.
ME: Ah. Okay. Well, a long, long, long, long time ago before you were born or Grammy and Grumps were born –
NICK: Before Beethoven was born?
ME: Even before… I think. Yes. Wait. Yes, definitely before Beethoven was born. The king of Egypt… when he would die… or when other special people would die… they would wrap them in bandages and put them in a tomb or inside a pyramid.
NICK: I want to see that.
ME: Well, okay… (pulls out iphone, looks for images) Okay… not that one, not that one, not that one, that’s a naked woman for some reason,
NICK: I want to see.
ME: Nope. Okay. Here’s a mummy. (shows picture)
NICK: How he get dead?
ME: Old age. Or something. Mosquito bites. I don’t know.
NICK: What they put him in?
ME: Oh, that’s a sarcophagus. Or a coffin. They made it out of gold and stuff and put him inside of it.
NICK: Why?
ME: Well, because he was special and they liked him so they wanted to honor him.
NICK: Honor?
ME: That’s like when you love someone… or something… and you want to do something so people will remember them.
NICK: He dead?
ME: Yes.
NICK: Then why they put him in it?
ME: Well… we still do that, actually. When people die, we put them in coffins.
NICK: Why?
ME: Well, because… it’s like respect for… it’s to… pretend that…I mean… so we feel better that… You know what? I actually don’t know why we do that.
NICK: I know why they put him in there.
ME: Why?
NICK: So his butt won’t fall off.
David Lee White 