ME: Hey, buddy. How was school?

NICK: Nathan would NOT cooperate!

ME: Uh-oh. What did that kid do now?

NICK: He makes jokes that I don’t like! And he tries to trick me!

ME: That’s no good. You just ignore him, okay? And tell the teacher if he really bothers you.

NICK: Daddy?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Read me this book.

ALLISON: Oh, yes. That book. Where did you get that book again?

ME: At the library book sale. I know he’s into dinosaurs and fossils and stuff so I grabbed it. It was in the kids’ section.

ALLISON: Uh-huh.

ME: What’s wrong? You have crazy eyes.

NICK: Read it to me, daddy.

ALLISON: Nick, I don’t think we should –

NICK: Pleeeeeaaaaase. What this book called?

ME: “Dry Bones.”

NICK: Read it, daddy.

ALLISON: Yes. Read it, daddy.

ME: Uh…Okay. “Did you ever dream that you were hunting dinosaurs? Dinosaurs and giant sea scorpions and all kinds of creatures from the past are still out there just waiting to be found…as fossils!”

ALLISON: So far, so good.

ME: Giant sea scorpions?

ALLISON: Keep reading.

ME: “Most fossils start out as plants and animals trapped in sediment. Sediment is the mud or sand that settles from flood waters. Do you know of any flood big enough to wash ocean life hundreds of miles to Indiana?”

ALLISON: Here we go…

ME: “God sent the great Flood to destroy evil and give the world a fresh start…all the violence and wickedness grieved God’s heart…” WHAT THE FUUUUUU…UNNY BOOK IS THIS?

NICK: Why is it so funny?

ALLISON: Look who the authors are.

ME: “Gary E. Parker, Clearwater Christian College and Mary M. Parker, Curator, Florida Creation Science Center.”

ALLISON: And the dedication.

ME: “To our Lord Jesus Christ.”

ALLISON: You brought a creationist children’s book into our home.

ME: OH MY GOD!

NICK: Read it, daddy!

ME: Nick, I can’t read you this book.

NICK: Yes! Read it!

ME: Oh, my God. How do I…how do I even…

ALLISON: Go for it, daddy.

ME: Well…Nick…you see they put stuff in this book that just isn’t true. They’re just pretending it’s true. It’s like a good story but they’re pretending it’s real. It has nice pictures and everything but…

NICK: I wanna see! Who’s that?

ME: Well, that’s Noah.

NICK: How he have a dinosaur on his boat? DINOSAURS CAN’T BE ON BOATS WITH PEOPLE!

ME: Exactly!

NICK: He have a dog! WHAT? How he can have a dog and a dinosaur???

ME: He can’t. That’s what I’m saying. This book says he can but he can’t.

NICK: SOMEONE TRYING TO TRICK US WITH THAT BOOK!

ME: Yes, they are.

NICK: Give it to me!

ME: What are you going to do with it?

NICK: I gonna give it to Nathan! I gonna trick Nathan with it!