CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT THE WENTZVILLE TREES

NICK: What’s that?

ME: That’s a picture of my old high school?

NICK: Dad? Why’s it so dirty?

ME: Well, there used to be these big tall trees inside the cafeteria but some kids stole them.

NICK: Why?

ME: They thought it would be funny to take them as a joke.

NICK: It’s a joke?

ME: Yeah. I’m not sure I get it. It’s called a prank, but this was kind of a lame prank. Anyway, they broke into the school at night and stole the trees that have been there for 30 years, ever since I was a kid.

NICK: They’re robbers?

ME: Yeah. They weren’t robbers before they stole the trees. But then they decided to be robbers. Now, they’re robbers.

NICK: THEY WOULDN’T HAVE BROKEN THE RULES AT MY SCHOOL!

ME: Yeah? What are the rules at your school?

NICK: DON’T RUN, CHRIS-CROSS APPLESAUCE, AND RESPECT EVERYBODY!

ME: These guys definitely did not chris-cross applesauce when they should have.

NICK: Okay, dad…don’t look. (runs away)

ME: Where are you going?

NICK: DON’T LOOK! LOOK AT YOUR COMPUTER!

ME: Okay…

(Nick returns, dressed in his army vest and helmet)

NICK: Okay, sir! What seems to be the problem?

ME: Oh, well some kids stole the trees at my old high school.

NICK: IF I GO THERE, I WILL CATCH THEM BECAUSE I AM ARMY!

ME: Very good. I hope you catch them!

NICK: THEY SHOULD RESPECT EVERYBODY!

ME: I agree.