NICK: What’s that?
ME: That’s a picture of my old high school?
NICK: Dad? Why’s it so dirty?
ME: Well, there used to be these big tall trees inside the cafeteria but some kids stole them.
ME: They thought it would be funny to take them as a joke.
NICK: It’s a joke?
ME: Yeah. I’m not sure I get it. It’s called a prank, but this was kind of a lame prank. Anyway, they broke into the school at night and stole the trees that have been there for 30 years, ever since I was a kid.
NICK: They’re robbers?
ME: Yeah. They weren’t robbers before they stole the trees. But then they decided to be robbers. Now, they’re robbers.
NICK: THEY WOULDN’T HAVE BROKEN THE RULES AT MY SCHOOL!
ME: Yeah? What are the rules at your school?
NICK: DON’T RUN, CHRIS-CROSS APPLESAUCE, AND RESPECT EVERYBODY!
ME: These guys definitely did not chris-cross applesauce when they should have.
NICK: Okay, dad…don’t look. (runs away)
ME: Where are you going?
NICK: DON’T LOOK! LOOK AT YOUR COMPUTER!
(Nick returns, dressed in his army vest and helmet)
NICK: Okay, sir! What seems to be the problem?
ME: Oh, well some kids stole the trees at my old high school.
NICK: IF I GO THERE, I WILL CATCH THEM BECAUSE I AM ARMY!
ME: Very good. I hope you catch them!
NICK: THEY SHOULD RESPECT EVERYBODY!
ME: I agree.