NICK: Dad?
ME: Yes.
NICK: Where do ticks come from?
ME: I don’t know, actually. I think they fall on you from trees.
NICK: Why?
ME: To suck your blood.
NICK: Why?
ME: That’s what they do. Blood is what they eat.
NICK: Do they eat anything else?
ME: I don’t think so. Just blood.
NICK: Dad. Know what?
ME: What?
NICK: Ticks won’t drink your blood if you have a blood test!
ME: What do you mean?
NICK: If you have a blood test outside, ticks would come and you would say “Get outta here, tick!”
ME: I don’t think you would have a blood test outside.
NICK: “If,” dad. “If” I said. I know you only have blood tests inside. But dad?
ME: Yes.
NICK: What if someone brought a tick inside to where you had the blood test?
ME: Why would someone do that?
NICK: Someone might just bring a tick to the blood test.
ME: But why?
NICK: Maybe the tick has to get a blood test.
ME: Ticks don’t get blood tests.
NICK: Maybe it’s a check-up. And someone brings in the tick and says “My tick is here for a check-up!”
ME: Then what does the doctor say?
NICK: He says “come over here, tick!” and then HE SMASHES THE TICK WITH A HAMMER!
ME: Oh, my.
NICK: Yeah but know what?
ME: What?
NICK: At night, the doctor comes home and sees a tick and says “What is this another tick?” but then the tick says “NO! I AM THE SAME TICK! MY NAME IS TRIMARCO JONES SEBASTIAN AND I SURVIVED AFTER ALL!”
David Lee White 