NICK: Dad?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Where do ticks come from?

ME: I don’t know, actually. I think they fall on you from trees.

NICK: Why?

ME: To suck your blood.

NICK: Why?

ME: That’s what they do. Blood is what they eat.

NICK: Do they eat anything else?

ME: I don’t think so. Just blood.

NICK: Dad. Know what?

ME: What?

NICK: Ticks won’t drink your blood if you have a blood test!

ME: What do you mean?

NICK: If you have a blood test outside, ticks would come and you would say “Get outta here, tick!”

ME: I don’t think you would have a blood test outside.

NICK: “If,” dad. “If” I said. I know you only have blood tests inside. But dad?

ME: Yes.

NICK: What if someone brought a tick inside to where you had the blood test?

ME: Why would someone do that?

NICK: Someone might just bring a tick to the blood test.

ME: But why?

NICK: Maybe the tick has to get a blood test.

ME: Ticks don’t get blood tests.

NICK: Maybe it’s a check-up. And someone brings in the tick and says “My tick is here for a check-up!”

ME: Then what does the doctor say?

NICK: He says “come over here, tick!” and then HE SMASHES THE TICK WITH A HAMMER!

ME: Oh, my.

NICK: Yeah but know what?

ME: What?

NICK: At night, the doctor comes home and sees a tick and says “What is this another tick?” but then the tick says “NO! I AM THE SAME TICK! MY NAME IS TRIMARCO JONES SEBASTIAN AND I SURVIVED AFTER ALL!”

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