CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT HOW HE CAN DO IT HIMSELF

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NICK: Dad?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Go outside. Close the door.

ME: Why?

NICK: I can do it by myself.

ME: You’re gonna take your bath by yourself?

NICK: Yes. Go outside and shut the door. I need my privacy.

ME: Okay.

NICK: But just sit in the hall. Don’t go away.

ME: Okay.

NICK: But shut the door.

ME: Okay.

(Door closes. Sounds of rustling around come from the bathroom.)

NICK: Why…won’t…you…come…off…stupid…shirt!!!???

ME: Nick? Do you need any help?

NICK: No! I can take off my shirt all by myself!

ME: Okay. It just sounded like you were having some trouble.

NICK: I’m not! I’m not having any trouble!

ME: Okay. Just let me know if you need anything.

NICK: Sit in the hall but not too far away!

ME: Okay.

NICK: (to himself) Ow! Ow. Too hot, too hot, too hot…

ME: Nick, do you need me to adjust the water for you? Is it too hot?

NICK: No! I can do it!

ME: Okay.

(Many minutes pass. Nick plays with boats)

NICK: I’m a pirate, I’m a pirate…Hello, Batman. Are you a pirate? No! I’m Batman! Okay. I’m a pirate! Okay, then you must fight me. Uh! Uh! Punch, punch!

ME: You okay in there?

NICK: Yeah, I’m okay!

ME: It’s just about time to get out.

NICK: Okay, but dad?

ME: Yeah?

NICK: I can brush my teeth by myself.

ME: If you say so.

NICK: I CAN!

ME: Okay, okay. I believe you.

NICK: (to himself) Dumb toothpaste. Come on, dumb toothpaste!

ME: Nick, do you –

NICK: No!

ME: ‘Kay.

(Nick opens door)

ME: You ready for bed?

NICK: I want to put on my pajamas by myself.

ME: Sure.

NICK: Don’t come in my room!

ME: I won’t.

NICK: Stay in the hall!

ME: Okay.

NICK: But not too far away! Just right there!

ME: Okay.

(pause)

NICK: Okay, you can come in.

ME: Your pants are on backwards.

NICK: NO THEY’RE NOT!

ME: Your pants are totally on backwards.

NICK: AAAAAAHHHHHGGGG! I CAN DO! IT! MY! SELF!

ME: I’m sure you can. Do you want to take them off and turn them around?

NICK: No!

ME: You just want to wear them backwards!

NICK: Yeah!

ME: Fine with me. You want me to read you a book?

NICK: Yeah, but dad?

ME: Uh-huh.

NICK: Don’t get on the bed with me. Just sit on the floor.

ME: Okay.

NICK: And then you lay down on the floor when I go to sleep.

ME: I’m not laying on your floor.

NICK: Yes, dad!

ME: No way. I’ll read you a book from here but if I lie on your floor, I’ll never be able to get up.

NICK: Okay. Then dad…know what? After you read a book, then go into mommy’s office.I can go to sleep by myself.

ME: All right.

NICK: But don’t go too far away.

ME: I won’t.

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