CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK AT THE DINER

nick diner

ME: How’s your french toast?

NICK: Good.

ME: Stop trying to suck your french toast butter through your straw.

NICK: Dad?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Simon bit me twice on the arm.

ME: What?

NICK: Simon bit me twice on the arm!

ME: Why? Why did he bite you?

NICK: I’m just kidding! I bit myself!

ME: Why did you bite yourself?

NICK: I don’t know. I did it twice.

ME: Nick,seriously,  do NOT suck your french toast butter through your straw.

NICK: But I want to.

ME: Don’t do it.

NICK: Dad?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Donatello rode his skateboard at school today.

ME: Donatello? The Ninja Turtle?

NICK: Yes.

ME: What was he doing at your school?

NICK: I don’t know. Dad?

ME: Yes.

NICK: What if a big, dumb lady broke into our house and hit me and then the police came and SHOT HER IN THE BACK?!

ME: Oh, my God! Nick…! Why…? Why would you even…  Why, why, why…?

NICK: Can I have some of your fries?

ME: Take them all.

NICK: I’m gonna put maple syrup on the them.

ME: That’s fine.

NICK: It wasn’t a ninja turtle on a skateboard. It was just Jimmy. I was making a joke.

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