Conversations with Nick – Page 8

CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT ART

August 27, 2014September 5, 2014 by davidleewhite44, posted in Conversations with Nick

Sometimes I have these conversations with Nick and I think… “I can’t post that. No one will believe it.”

NICK: Daddy?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Lie down on your back with me.

ME: Okay.

NICK: Look up at the tree.

ME: Looking. What do you see?

NICK: Art.

ME: Really? Art?

NICK: Yes.

ME: I think I know what you mean. The branches and leaves and everything… they’re like art.

NICK: No, daddy.

ME: You mean, like… you see kind of like pictures in the tree? Like framed pictures or something?

NICK: No, daddy.

ME: What do you see?

NICK: Butts.

ME: You see butts?

NICK: Yes.

ME: How do you see butts in the trees?

NICK: I just do.

ME: You see butts.

NICK: Yes.

ME: How is that art?

NICK: They’re in Spanish.

CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK AND ELANA

August 26, 2014September 5, 2014 by davidleewhite44, posted in Conversations with Nick

Nick has a friend named Elana. She’s three. They see one another several times a year and recently vacationed together at Cape May.

ELANA: Hi, Nicky!

NICK: Hi, Elana!

ELANA: Hi, Nicky!

NICK: THIS ONE TIME I WENT ON A PLANE AND MOMMY DIDN’T GIVE ME MEDICINE AND SO I THREW UP EEEEEVERYWHERE BUT MAYBE NEXT TIME SHE GIVE ME MEDICINE AND I DON’T THROW UP!

ELANA: Okay!

NICK: Elana!

ELANA: Nick!

NICK: Don’t throw sand in my face!

ELANA: Okay!

NICK: Know what?

ELANA: What?

NICK: Knock, knock. Who’s there?

ELANA: Let’s bury our feet in the sand!

NICK: Okay!

(They bury their feet)

ELANA: Now our feet are stuck! We have to go to the hospital!

NICK: Wiggle your toes!

ELANA: Yeah! Wiggle your toes!

(They wiggle their toes)

NICK: We broke free!

NICK: Push me over!

(Elana pushes Nick over)

NICK: Ha ha ha!

ELANA: Now you push me over!

(Nick pushes Elana over)

ELANA: Ha, ha, ha!

NICK: Now you push me over!

(Elana pushes Nick over)

NICK: Ha, ha, ha!

ELANA: Now you push me over!

NICK: Mom?

ALLISON: Yes, Nick?

NICK: I like how Elana talks.

ALLISON: How do you mean?

NICK: Like if it’s raining outside and we have to get shelter, she’ll say “Oh, no! It’s raining outside! We have to get shelter!”

CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT WINNING AND LOSING

August 15, 2014August 15, 2014 by davidleewhite44, posted in Conversations with Nick

ALLISON: You spin the spinner, then you move your little man and whoever gets to Candyland first, wins. You’re doing good, Nick. You’re way ahead.

NICK: My turn.

ALLISON: Yep. Go ahead and spin. You got the lollipop. Oooohhh… you have to backwards now.

NICK: I want to spin again.

ALLISON: Not until it’s your turn again. You have to play by the rules.

NICK: But who’s gonna win?

ALLISON: We don’t know yet. Right now it’s daddy’s turn. Oh! Daddy moves forward two orange squares.

ME: I’m still behind.

NICK: My turn?

ALLISON: No. It’s my turn and then it’s your turn. Oh! Look! I won!

NICK: You won?

ALLISON: Yes!

NICK: But I wanted to win.

ALLISON: Well you won the first two games and I won this game.

NICK: But I wanted to win. I WANTED TO WIN!

ME: Well, buddy, you can’t win every time. Sometimes other people win.

NICK: I WANTED TO WIN! YOU MESSED IT ALL UP!

ALLISON: Nick, it’s just a game. It’s fun even when someone else wins.

NICK: NO! NO IT’S NOT! I WANTED TO WIN! I WANTED TO WIN!

ME: Buddy, maybe you’ll win next time.

NICK: BUT WHAT IF MOMMY WINS AGAIN? THAT’S WHAT I DON’T KNOW! I NEVER GONNA WIN!

ALLISON: Nick, you won twice.I won once.

NICK: I WANTED TO WIN! I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO WIN! I WANTED TO WIN!

ALLISON: (to ME) Uh-oh.

ME: No, this is good. It’s a good lesson. Let’s just talk it out.

*Twenty minutes later*

ALLISON: Nick, put down the game board and stop throwing things. It’s time for your bath.

NICK: NO! I’M NOT GONNA PUT IT DOWN! I GONNA PLAY THE GAME ALL BY MYSELF AND THEN I’LL WIN! I’M NOT GONNA PLAY WITH YOU OR YOU! I GONNA PLAY ALL BY MYSELF!

ME: Come on, buddy. Time to go upstairs.

NICK: NO! NO! NO! I GONNA STAY DOWN HERE! MOMMY DIDN’T LET ME WIN! THAT’S THE PROBLEM! I GONNA PLAY UNTIL I WIN!

ALLISON: No. We’re done. Time for bath.

NICK: NO!

ME: Yes. Come with me. Upstairs. Right now.

*Twenty minutes later*

ME: Stop rolling around on the floor and screaming. This is silly.

NICK: I! WANTED! TO! WIN! MOMMY! DIDN’T! LET! ME! WIN!

ME: Okay. Two minutes of silence.

NICK: NO!

ME: Yes. Starting right now.

NICK: NO!

ME: Yes. No talking. You have to calm down, buddy.

NICK: I DON’T WANT TO CALM DOWN!

ME: You have to Nick. Two minutes. I’m serious.

NICK: Okay… okay…

*Two minutes later*

ME: You calm now?

NICK: Uh-huh. I’m sorry, daddy. Mommy got ahead of me in the game. That’s the problem.

ME: Buddy, it’s just a game.

NICK: But I wanted to win.

ME: I know. But when someone else wins you have to say “Congratulations” and shake their hand. Even win you’re sad you didn’t win.

NICK: I want to tell mommy congratulations.

ME: Good idea. Let’s go downstairs.

NICK: Mommy?

ALLISON: Yes?

NICK: Um…um…congratulations.

ALLISON: Thank you, buddy.

NICK: It’s just that… it’s just that… I was ahead. And then I had to go backwards and you got in front of me. And I played the rules. I played the rules. That’s the problem. I thought if I play by the rules, I would always win.

CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT WORLD HISTORY

August 12, 2014August 14, 2014 by davidleewhite44, posted in Conversations with Nick

NICK: Daddy?

ME: Yes.

NICK: One time? A long time ago? There was alllllll volcanoes.

ME: All volcanoes?

NICK: Uh-huh. They were everywhere. But then the lava buried all the volcanoes but the big volcanoes. So now, there are just big volcanoes.

NICK: Daddy?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Tell about dinosaurs.

ME: What do you want to know?

NICK: Tell about how they became distinct.

ME: Extinct.

NICK: Extinct.

ME: Well, once upon a time… there were dinosaurs… and they did dinosaur things… they’d eat and roar and whatnot…then…they became extinct.

NICK: There was a storm, daddy. And the thunder came and the thunder kill ALL the dinosaurs.

ME: All at once?

NICK: Uh-huh. And they KNOW this happened, daddy. They KNOW it. The scientists KNOW it. They KNOW this is what happened. They KNOW it!

NICK: Daddy?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Tell about mummies.

ME: Okay. Well, mummies are when dead people get wrapped in bandages and then they get buried in a tomb. In Egypt.

NICK: (long pause) You have to tell me the whole thing, daddy.

ME: Ah. Okay. Well, a long, long, long, long time ago before you were born or Grammy and Grumps were born –

NICK: Before Beethoven was born?

ME: Even before… I think. Yes. Wait. Yes, definitely before Beethoven was born. The king of Egypt… when he would die… or when other special people would die… they would wrap them in bandages and put them in a tomb or inside a pyramid.

NICK: I want to see that.

ME: Well, okay… (pulls out iphone, looks for images) Okay… not that one, not that one, not that one, that’s a naked woman for some reason,

NICK: I want to see.

ME: Nope. Okay. Here’s a mummy. (shows picture)

NICK: How he get dead?

ME: Old age. Or something. Mosquito bites. I don’t know.

NICK: What they put him in?

ME: Oh, that’s a sarcophagus. Or a coffin. They made it out of gold and stuff and put him inside of it.

NICK: Why?

ME: Well, because he was special and they liked him so they wanted to honor him.

NICK: Honor?

ME: That’s like when you love someone… or something… and you want to do something so people will remember them.

NICK: He dead?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Then why they put him in it?

ME: Well… we still do that, actually. When people die, we put them in coffins.

NICK: Why?

ME: Well, because… it’s like respect for… it’s to… pretend that…I mean… so we feel better that… You know what? I actually don’t know why we do that.

NICK: I know why they put him in there.

ME: Why?

NICK: So his butt won’t fall off.

CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT GEORGIE 1 AND GEORGIE 2

August 10, 2014August 14, 2014 by davidleewhite44, posted in Conversations with Nick

NICK: My little brother is driving me crazy!

ALLISON: You don’t have a little brother.

NICK: I have a little brother. Yes I do, mom.

ME: What’s your little brother’s name?

NICK: Georgie.

ALLISON: Georgie?

NICK: He’s driving me crazy!

ME: What is he doing that’s driving you crazy?

NICK: He keeps saying “poo poo” all the time!

ALLISON: No, that’s you that does that.

NICK: No, it’s Georgie and the other Georgie.

ME: There’s another Georgie?

NICK: Georgie One and Georgie Two.

ME: And they’re both driving you crazy.

NICK: Uh-huh. They look alike. And they’re stuck together.

ME: You mean that literally? Like they’re actually stuck together?

NICK: Cause I glued them together.

ME: Well no wonder they’re so ill-tempered. How do you get them apart?

NICK: Sticky water. (accidentally knocks over a glass of water)

ME: Oh, geez.

NICK: I’m sorry!

ALLISON: It’s okay. Let me get some towels…

NICK: IT WAS GEORGIE ONE AND GEORGIE TWO!

ALLISON: Okay… it was just an accident. Not a big deal. But let’s not blame it on…on…on…

ME: Our other children?

NICK: GEORGIE ONE AND GEORGIE TWO! THEY’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!