NICK: Dad?
ME: Yes.
NICK: Are you sure we’re going the right way?
ME: Yep.
NICK: I think the frozen yogurt place is the other way.
ME: There are two frozen yogurt places. We’re going to the one in Princeton.
NICK: I think we’re going the wrong way.
ME: No we’re not.
NICK: STOP TALKING, YOU PSYCHO!
ME: Excuse me?
NICK: DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SAYING ONE MORE WORD, PSYCHO!
ME: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
NICK: YOU ARE A DUMB HAT!
ME: You know what? That’s enough! I don’t know where that little outburst came from but that is just about enough! You asked to go get frozen yogurt so I’m taking you there and you’re calling me names? No way. That is not acceptable! Where did you even hear “dumb hat?” Do your friends at school say that?
NICK: No.
ME: Then where did you hear it?
NICK: “Planes Fire and Rescue.” The one guys, he says “You have a dumb hat” because the other guy he has on a hat.
ME: Okay…
NICK: But daddy?
ME: Yes.
NICK: You shouldn’t call people that. You shouldn’t call people names.
ME: That’s right. And why?
NICK: Because it hurts their feelings and it makes them feel bad. If you call them dumb hat.
ME: That’s right.
NICK: And so I won’t call you dumb hat anymore.
ME: Good.
NICK: Daddy?
ME: Yes.
NICK: I still may want to call you psycho, sometimes.
David Lee White 