NICK: I WANNA WATCH TANKS ON YOUTUBE!
ME: *sigh* Okay. Here’s a video of toy tanks shooting paint balls at each other. This is a good one.
NICK: No! I wanna see toy tanks and they shoot paint balls at army men and cars that are going too fast!
ME: Tanks don’t really do that.
NICK: Dad? I wanna see real tanks roll over cars AND SHOOT THE BAD GUYS AFTER THE BAD GUYS ROBBED A BANK!
ME: You see…tanks don’t really do that kind of thing.
NICK: You can’t find ANYTHING on youtube!
ME: Hang on. I’ll find something.
NICK: GUNS! BULLETS! GUNS! BULLETS!
ME: Whose child are you?
NICK: Go back to the last thing! I want to see that one with the tank!
ME: Okay… this is a documentary about real tanks. I’ll start it but if it gets too violent, I’ll have to turn it off.
NICK: SHOOT THE TANKS FOR REAL! REAL TANKS!
ME: Okay. Here it is.
NICK: What is that tank?
ME: They said that’s a tank called “The Elephant.”
NICK: Is it a good guy?
ME: Tanks aren’t really good guys or bad guys. This is a tank that doesn’t work anymore that they’re trying to fix.
NICK: Why doesn’t it work?
ME: It was in a battle so it doesn’t work.
NICK: Did the good guys have it?
ME: Well, the German’s had it. And the Americans were in a war against the Germans.
NICK: Was Germany cheating???
ME: Yes.. They were trying to take everyone over so we went to war with them.
NICK: And then we got the tank!
NICK: Dad? Armies don’t really kill.
ME: Actually…yes they do.
NICK: They just kill bad guys.
ME: Not…not really. Good guys get killed too.
NICK: I WANNA GO IN THE ARMIES!
ME: I don’t want you to go in the army.
ME: I don’t want you to get hurt.
NICK: But dad… I won’t shoot anybody. I’ll go and I’ll tell the bad guys to stop shooting.
ME: That would be good if you could do that.
NICK: WHEN WE HAVE WAR WITH GERMANY AGAIN I WILL STOP THEM! BECAUSE I WILL STOP THEM SO THEY CAN’T TAKE OUR TANKS!
ME: Good idea.But we really don’t want to go to war. War is not good. It’s a very bad thing.
NICK: But America will always win.
ME: Not always.
ME: Sometimes America wins, sometimes it loses. Sometimes we say we win even win we lose.
NICK: America is very, very fragile.