NICK: Dad! Dad! Help!
ME: What’s wrong.
NICK: Okay. I had a thing. A red thing. And I was just smelling it. And it just, like, jumped in my nose and it’s way up there and I can feel it! How am I gonna get it out???
ME: Wait, wait, wait…hold on. You stuck something up your nose?
NICK: I didn’t stick it up my nose, dad. I was just smelling it and holding it close to my nose.
ME: What were you smelling?
NICK: The red thing.
ME: You were smelling a red thing and you sniffed it up your nose.
NICK: Yeah! But dad…it will probly be okay, right? I mean probly it’s just gonna come out later.
ME: Okay. Was it big or small?
ME: It was just a small thing?
NICK’S GRANDMA: I’ll go get some of that saline stuff.
ME: Good. Okay.
NICK: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO DAD???
ME: Hey, you know what? It’s totally okay. We’re gonna try to flush it out.
NICK’S GRANDMA: Here.
ME: Great. Okay, which side is the red thing on?
NICK: It went into this nose over here. Not the other nose.I was just holding it close to my nose, dad! And it sniffed up in my nose!
ME: What I want you to do is tilt your head and snort the water into the other nose. Can you do it?
ME: There you go. Good! Now tilt your head the other way and blow. There you go.
NICK: It didn’t come out, dad!!!
NICK’S GRANDMA: What did this thing look like?
NICK: It was from my art project at school.
NICK’S GRANDMA: Was it a piece of the red rice you used on this picture?
NICK’S GRANDMA: It was?
NICK: Yeah. Dad? I was just trying to smell it and it just jumped up my nose! Maybe it will just come out when I go to bed, dad!
NICK’S GRANDPA: All right. Nick, lie down. Grammy, get a flashlight.
NICK: How big are my sinuses dad?
ME: Just lie down, Nick.
NICK’S GRANDMA: Here’s the flashlight.
NICK’S GRANDPA: Let’s take a look here… Oh. I see something.
NICK: WHAT IS IT???
NICK;S GRANDPA: C’mere and look.
ME: Oh, wow. It’s huge. Hang on. I’ll go get some tweezers.
NICK’S GRANDPA: You just lie still, Nick.
NICK: So I just was sniffing it, okay? And it just got snuffed right up my nose! I didn’t mean to do it!
ME: Okay. Shine the light in there. I see it. It’s not too far…okay. Got it. It’s kinda stuck. THERE! Got it.
NICK’S GRANDPA: What is it?
ME: I don’t know. What the heck is this?
NICK: What is it, dad?
NICK’S GRANDMA: Let me see it. It’s squishy.
ME: Yeah, but it’s kind of hard in the middle.
NICK’S GRANDMA: Is it food?
ME: I don’t think so.
NICK’S GRANDPA: Is that paint on it? Or ink?
ME: It’s not coming off on my fingers.
NICK: Probly it’s just a thing.
ME: Wait…Nick, you made that Christmas ornament at school. With the picture of you as Rudolph.
ME: Is this the nose? Did it fall under the table while we were packing the ornaments away?
NICK: Yeah. That’s probly it.
ME: So you had Rudolph’s nose inside your nose.
NICK: Can we put it back on the ormament?