NICK: Dad! What’s that?
ME: Oh, wow. That’s a huge wasp nest. Just hanging in that tree. How weird.
NICK: ARE THEY GONNA STING US?
ME: No.
NICK: Wasps only bother you if you bother them.
ME: Right. You know one time your Uncle Brad got stung by a bunch of wasps in his back.
NICK: How?
ME: They were in the mailbox and he opened the mailbox and they flew out and stung him.
NICK: HOW THEY GET IN THE MAIL BOX?
ME: I dunno. They just built their nest in there.
NICK: What did he do?
ME: He ran away. He was really little so I know he screamed and cried and stuff.
NICK: I CAN HEAR ALL THAT IN MY MIND!
ME: Can you?
NICK: YES!
ME: And then your grandpa in Colorado had to spray and kill all the wasps.
NICK: You know what? This one time, Billy and Billy 2 brought wasps inside a building!
ME: What kind of building?
NICK: A museum!
ME: Oh, man. What happened?
NICK: I was the police! And Billy let all the wasps go and I said “GET OUT OF HERE YOU WASPS I’M THE POLICE!” and I sprayed but it didn’t work.
ME: Why not?
NICK: Not enough chemical. And so I had to throw a bomb and I BLOWED UP THE WHOLE BUILDING! PWOKKKKKSSSSSH!
ME: You blew up a museum just to kill some wasps?
NICK: Yes.
ME: Sweet.
David Lee White 