CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT XAVIER

148

NICK: Dad?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Do you like Xavier?

ME: Who is Xavier?

NICK: I don’t know.

ME: Is he a friend from school?

NICK: No.

ME: Is he from a TV show?

NICK: No.

ME: What are you smiling about?

NICK: Nothing. Do you like Xavier?

ME: Nick, I have no idea who Xavier is.

NICK: Who is he?

ME: I don’t know. That’s what I’m asking you.

NICK: Do you like him?

ME: Nick, how…what…I don’t understand anything you’re saying. Who is Xavier?

NICK: I don’t know.

ME: You don’t know.

NICK: But do you like him?

ME: I don’t…what is so funny?

NICK: Nothing!

ME: Then why are you laughing?

NICK: I’m not!

ME: You’re totally laughing!

NICK: Do you like Xavier?

ME: Stop saying that!

NICK: DO YOU?

ME: I don’t know who Xavier is! Tell me who Xavier is!

NICK: EVERYBODY’S GONNA DIE! EVERYBODY’S GONNA DIE!

ME: Oh, my God. Stop it! Stop saying that!

NICK: EVERYBODY’S GONNA DIE!

ME: Nick! Stop it! This is like the worst horror movie of all time! Cut it out! And stop laughing! I mean it!

NICK: Okay. Dad?

ME: WHAT?

(Pause)

NICK: Do you like Xavier?

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