NICK: Dad?
ME: Yes.
NICK: Do you like Xavier?
ME: Who is Xavier?
NICK: I don’t know.
ME: Is he a friend from school?
NICK: No.
ME: Is he from a TV show?
NICK: No.
ME: What are you smiling about?
NICK: Nothing. Do you like Xavier?
ME: Nick, I have no idea who Xavier is.
NICK: Who is he?
ME: I don’t know. That’s what I’m asking you.
NICK: Do you like him?
ME: Nick, how…what…I don’t understand anything you’re saying. Who is Xavier?
NICK: I don’t know.
ME: You don’t know.
NICK: But do you like him?
ME: I don’t…what is so funny?
NICK: Nothing!
ME: Then why are you laughing?
NICK: I’m not!
ME: You’re totally laughing!
NICK: Do you like Xavier?
ME: Stop saying that!
NICK: DO YOU?
ME: I don’t know who Xavier is! Tell me who Xavier is!
NICK: EVERYBODY’S GONNA DIE! EVERYBODY’S GONNA DIE!
ME: Oh, my God. Stop it! Stop saying that!
NICK: EVERYBODY’S GONNA DIE!
ME: Nick! Stop it! This is like the worst horror movie of all time! Cut it out! And stop laughing! I mean it!
NICK: Okay. Dad?
ME: WHAT?
(Pause)
NICK: Do you like Xavier?
David Lee White 