CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT WASHING HIS HAIR

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ME: Okay, bud. Time to wash your hair.

NICK: No.

ME: Yes. We are washing your hair.

NICK: No I’m not. It’s not in my plans.

ME: What do you mean? I make your plans. Your hair needs to be washed.

NICK: No, dad. I’m making my own plans. I am cutting off your plans with my plans.

ME: No. Finish washing yourself and then we’re washing your hair.

NICK: I’m gonna break the soap.

ME: Better not. We’ve talked about that.

NICK: I’m gonna break it, dad.

ME: Do not break that soap.

NICK: I’m gonna break it.

ME: Stop it. Just finish washing.

NICK: I don’t want to wash my hair.

ME: We are absolutely, 100%, washing your hair.

NICK: No we’re not.

ME: It can go fast and easy or you can scream and it can take an hour. Your choice.

NICK: I’m gonna break the soap.

ME: I’m washing your hair and I’m doing it right now.

NICK: GIMME A TOWEL! I GOT WATER IN MY EAR!

ME: Here. Do not drop that towel in the wa…Nick! I told you not to drop it in the water!

NICK: I got soap in my eyes! It’s in my eyes! I need another towel!

ME: *sigh* Here!

NICK: Are you done?

ME: No. I have to rinse it.

NICK: NO!

ME: I have to rinse it, Nick! I can’t just leave the soap in your hair!

NICK: I’M GONNA CHOP YOUR ARMS OFF FOR YOU CAN’T LIFT ANYTHING!

ME: I DON’T CARE AS LONG AS I FINISH WASHING YOUR HAIR!

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