CONVERSATIONS WITH NICK ABOUT THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR

barracks

ME: Okay, buddy. Are you gonna be good and cooperative on this tour?

NICK: YEAH, SURE!

ME: Seriously. We’re gonna be on a tour with a lot of people so you need to behave.

NICK: Is this where there’s the guns?

ME: Yes. This is where the soldiers stayed during the Revolutionary War. So yes, there will be antique guns here.

NICK: YES!

ME: But we have to go on the tour to see them. Okay?

NICK: OKAY, MY HILARIOUS SIDEKICK!*

ME: Nick…

(Ten minutes later)

TOUR GUIDE: …and this is where the soldiers slept, usually three or four men to a bed. If you look over here you can see the muskets…

ME: Look, bud. Those are the guns they used. They’re called muskets.

NICK: WHY IS IT SO STINKY IN HERE?

ME: Nick…sshhh! It’s not stinky. You just have a four year old nose.

NICK: IT IS, DAD! IT’S STINKY! I HAB TO HODE MY DOSE!

ME: Sssh!

TOUR GUIDE: …and here you see an officer’s room. He would have had his own bunk, much like this one.

NICK: OH, MAN IS IT STINKY!

ME: Nick –

NICK: I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!

ME: Oh, my God. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

TOUR GUIDE: …and here’s the desk where the officer would have sat to write letters.

NICK: WHEN ARE WE GONNA LEAVE, DAD?

ME: Sh!

TOUR GUIDE: You can see the flag in the corner –

NICK: IT’S STINKY SO BAD!

ME: Okay. We’re just gonna go… how do we…?

TOUR GUIDE: Out the door and back the way we came.

ME: Thank you. Sorry, everyone. Sorry.

NICK: CAN I LED GO OF MY DOSE, DAD?

ME: Yes.

NICK: CAN WE GO OUTSIDE?

ME: Yes.

NICK: Why was it so stinky in there, dad?

ME: I don’t know. It was a little stinky.

NICK: You know what I think?

ME: What?

NICK: I think when the soldiers were there a long time ago, they made it stinky. And then it just got more stinky over time.

*Where, where, where did he get this?

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