NICK: I wanna go home.
ME: We will. This won’t take long.
NICK: Why did we have to come back in the store?
ME: Because I found an onion in my pocket.
NICK: How the onion get in your pocket?
ME: I guess I put it there.
NICK: Why?
ME: Well… I didn’t mean to. I guess I picked it up and put it in my pocket and then we paid for all the groceries but I didn’t pay for the onion and I didn’t notice I had it until all the bags were in the trunk.
NICK: This line is so long!
ME: I know, bud, but I have to pay for this onion because you don’t just take things from the supermarket without paying. That’s stealing. And I want you to learn that.
NICK: But I’m tired.
ME: I know, bud, but I remember when my grandpa accidentally took a box of Jello and put it in his pocket and the next day he made me go with him to the store to pay for it and it left a big impression. So when I found the onion, I thought this would be a good chance to provide a…you know…good example for you.
NICK: Oh my Gosh what are you talking so much about?
ME: Nick, I just –
CASHIER: Coupons? Rain check?
ME: No, I –
CASHIER: Saver Card?
ME: No, actually I just…here’s what happened…I got outside and noticed that I hadn’t paid for this onion. I put it in my pocket.
CASHIER: So you came all the way back in to pay for it?
ME: Yes.
CASHIER: (sees Nick) Hello there!
NICK: Hi. Know what? My dad took an onion.
CASHIER: Well it’s a good thing he brought it back! That will be ninety-four cents.
ME: Thanks. Okay, buddy. Now we can go.
NICK: Dad, are you a robber?
ME: Not really. It was an accident. But if I had just left without paying even though I knew I should have, then I would be a robber.
NICK: Dad?
ME: Yes.
NICK: Do you know any robbers?
ME: Well…um…yes, I do.
NICK: Tell me their names.
ME: Oh…uh…okay (I tell him their names)
NICK: What did they steal?
ME: Well, they stole…money…and things.
NICK: Did they go to jail?
ME: Yes. A couple of them went to jail for a very long time.
NICK: For robbing?
ME: Well…not exactly… they…you know…they hurt people. I don’t know if I should be telling you this.
NICK: They hurt people?
ME: Yes.
NICK: With punching, with swords or with guns?
ME: With punching and with guns.
NICK: Dad! How did they punch if they had guns?
ME: I don’t –
NICK: You can’t punch at the same time as you have guns in your hands!
ME: Right, right. Anyway, they hurt people and went to jail.
NICK: Forever?
ME: One was in jail for many, many years and one will probably be there forever. Nick, I don’t know if I should –
NICK: But you’re not going to jail.
ME: Right.
NICK: Because you paid for it.
ME: Right.
NICK: Yeah. And it was just an onion.
David Lee White 